How Do You Buy Latino Books Like Marco?
(to the tune of “How Do You Solve a Problem Like Maria”)
(with apologies to the Sound of Music)
- On the occasion of Mark Grover's Retirement -
Note:
(J) indicates Janet sings
(D) indicates Dick sings
(T) or "Tutti" indicates both sing
Tutti:
He left Malad, said “So long, Dad,
My mission’s in Brazil.”
He waltzed his way through history class
At our diploma mill.
A Ph.D. Latino
He at Bloomington fulfilled:
We’ve even seen him teaching Latin Studies.
(J)
He seldom goes to meetings…
(D)
But he still scales all the heights;
(J)
He’s never late for anything…
(D)
Especially Delta flights.
Tutti:
We love to have to say it
‘Cuz we feel it’s only right:
This Marco’s quite a whiz at Latin Studies.
(D)
I'd like to say a word at his behest:
Marco - is - the best
Tutti:
How do you buy Latino books like Marco?
How do you count the vendors that he likes?
How do you find the proper word for Marco?
(J)
A history-freak!...
(D)
A Latínophile!...
(J)
Oh, Yikes!
(D)
(Will you teach us Latin?)
Tutti:
Many a thing you know we’d like to tell him
Many a thing he ought to understand
But how do we make him stay
Once he has retired today
How do we keep a wave upon the sand?
(D)
(Unless we’re talkin’ about sand on the beach at Ipanema in Brazil)
Tutti:
Oh, how do you buy Latino books like Marco?
How do you hold collections in your hand?
(D)
(How do you hold those e-books in your hand?)
(J)
He wrote papers, he wrote books,
He gave students pleasant looks,
He did interviews, made histories of the church…;
(D)
He gave speeches, and he teached
Far and near his word has reached…,
(J) He is leaving…,
(D) We are left now…
(T) In the lurch.
(D)
He’ll inspire us when he’s gone
To Buenos Aires, Greece or Bonn,
But we’ll never know exactly where he is…
(J)
In the southern hemispherics
He’ll make journeys and sing lyrics…
(D)
He's a traveler!...
(J)
He's historic…!
(T)
He’s a whiz!
Tutti:
How do you buy Latino books like Marco?
How do you count the vendors that he likes?
How do you find the proper word for Marco?
(J)
A history-freak!...
(D)
A Latínophile!...
(J)
Oh, Yikes!
Tutti:
Many a thing you know we’d like to tell him
Many a thing he ought to understand
But how do we make him stay
Once he has retired today
How do we keep a wave upon the sand?
(D)
(Unless we’re talkin’ about sand on the beach at Ipanema in Brazil)
Tutti:
Oh, how do you buy Latino books like Marco?
How do you hold collections in your hand?
(J)
He’d out-migrate any bird
Half the world, or so I’ve heard,
He can’t count the continents he’s stepped upon…
(D)
(I’m not very good at math, either!)
He’s in Cuba! Mozambique!
Singapore! Or Macchu Peach!...
(J)
Now Dubrovnik!...
(D)
Casablanc’!...
(T)
Miami Beach!
(D)
Argentina, then Berlin,
And a trip to Santaquin,
These are just some destinations that he chose…
(J)
For SALALM in Guadalajar’
Books in Lisbon not too far…
(D)
He’s in London…,
(J)
Barcelona…,
(T)
Adiós!
Tutti:
How do you buy Latino books like Marco?
How do you count the vendors that he likes?
How do you find the proper word for Marco?
(J)
A history-freak!
(D)
A Latínophile!
(J)
Oh, Yikes!
Tutti:
Many a thing you know we’d like to tell him
Many a thing he ought to understand
But how do we make him stay
Once he has retired today
How do we keep a wave upon the sand?
Oh, how do you buy Latino books like Marco?
How do you hold collections in your hand?
By Dick Hacken,
September 13, 2013